Dealing with Bullying in School: Should We Judge?

Adults regularly play judge in the disputes between children, and anti-bullying laws actually require us to serve as a judge in dealing with bullying in school.

Judging is very serious business. It should not be taken lightly and only be done when absolutely necessary and by qualified experts.

Whenever we act as a judge between two other people, we make them both hate each other even more and one side hates us, too. When we judge the disputes between children at home, it creates endless sibling rivalry. A marriage counselor who judges the disputes between a couple, will mostly likely lose her clients. And when school staff judge the disputes between students, the arguments intensify as each side and their parents try to get the school on their side.

In our day-to-day lives, we don’t run to court as soon as a problem emerges with another person. We try to resolve it with one another and if, after weeks or months, we don’t succeed in resolving the problem, then we may decide to go to court.

None of us want to go to court where the judge is a random stranger off the street. We want someone who is intelligent and wise, someone who has studied law and the judicial process. When a judge passes a verdict, it is not likely that the two sides will hug each other and thank the judge for his/her wisdom. The two sides will probably still dislike each other and one side will be angry at the judge, too.

But when children have a problem with each other, do we give them weeks or months to resolve the issue before we play judge? No. We try, more immediately, to determine who is wrong and punish someone. And when we pass judgment on a dispute between two children, much like our court system, would they hug each other and thank us for our wisdom? No. The two kids are still angry with each other and reconciliation does not take place. We should, therefore, not be in a hurry to play judge.

Learn More… Take this course: Bullying: The Golden Rule Solution

Discuss Here: How do we resolve conflicts without playing judge while dealing with bullying in school?